Week 5 Quiet Desperation

Thoreau’s message that ‘most people live lives of quiet desperation’.

Sadly I think that is true for many, many people including me, if I am honest. A life lead trying to raise a family, make a living, support our loved ones, trying to not stand out and yet not fall behind. That has been important to me in the past. Blend in. Do well, but not so well that you stand out. No one likes a show off.

One of this week’s assignments is to write a press release from the future as if all I want in my life has already come true. My life’s plan that I have been writing and rewriting for weeks, as if it has already happened.

Here is the interesting part: I have been reading and imagining this new life easily. But writing it where others can read it, maybe even voice their opinion of how plausible it is, well, that is a whole different can of worms.

I would consider myself a very private person. I have found it difficult writing these blogs and posting things on Facebook as I am normally a reader but not a contributor to social media. At the start of the course I promised I would do as asked to get where I want to go, and as I may have mentioned before 🙂  I always keep my promises.

My week starts with the webinar on Monday mornings and I usually get stuck in and get the work done early. This week is different, I am struggling to let go of my ego and to put my true wants out into the public. I think it is an ego thing. Why else would I care about other people knowing what I want out of life? It is because I have made many many big ol plans in the past and yet I have followed through on none of them. If no one knows I was trying then no one knows I failed, right?

My weight is the best example. Several times a year, every year without fail, I get all serious and decide enough is enough. I am going to get healthy, fit, drop all the extra weight. Awesome. It usually lasts a couple of days, occasionally a couple of weeks and then the desire is drowned out by with excuses. Believe me when I say I can make excuses sound so real that it makes it understandable I would quit.

One of the many differences this time is it will be public. Others will know if I am indeed keeping my promises to myself. It will be obvious if I quit. Obvious if I stay the course.

So I guess the time has come to say “harden the F up Jen! Become an adult and keep your promises.”  So in the next couple of days I will post my Press Release and expose myself to the comments and opinions of others.  It is quite scary and I feel vulnerable doing it. BUT, and it is a big BUTT (ha, pun intended!), I am sick of living my life in quiet desperation. I am chosing to live my life intentionally. I probably will stand out. And maybe that is a good thing, maybe I will help just one other person say, they too are no longer going to lead a life of quiet desperation. We deserve more. We all deserve more.

Big breath in, big girl pants on, here I come world.