Time to quit.
The first two weeks I was all gung ho, bring it on, I am loving it. Can’t wait for the world to see the new and improved me in 6 months. I was embracing the readings and sits etc. Birds are singing, rainbows appear, you get the picture.
Week 3. The “newness” is wearing off. Life is crowding in, other priorities start yelling louder for attention. I miss a reading here and there, no big drama right? Instead of protecting my last awake hour to focus on where and how I want to be, the laptop starts coming back into bed to watch ‘stuff’ before trying to sleep. Back to checking the news sites and Facebook for a couple of minutes that turn into a couple hours. Just a couple of nights off, I will get back into it tomorrow I say to myself. Oh sure you will Jen.
Week 4. Watched the webinar, got all excited again but an hour or two later, the old blueprint is getting louder again. ‘This is wishy washy bullshit’, ‘this isn’t going to work for you’, ‘you look like a fool reading this stuff out loud’, ‘how the hell are you going to achieve any of this?’, ‘you have tried to change before and it got you nowhere’ and on the relentless chatter in my head goes. I read my newly created life purpose but can’t find the energy and emotion that I usually do. ‘Right, that proves it, let’s quit and go back to normal’, says old way of thinking. ‘OK’, is my meek reply. Maybe I wasn’t cut out for this amazing life I was imagining.
There is this tiny tiny voice whispering in my head: ‘But you promised not to quit, and you said that you always keep your promises’. I don’t have the heart to tell that tiny voice to shut up, probably because it is correct.
So, instead of the old glum thinking that all is lost because I have missed a few days so may as well throw in the towel, I am choosing a new thought.
So I am hanging in, maybe by my short, chewed fingernails but as long as I am still in the course there is time to get back on track. I need to shut the old blueprint down and surrender to this process. This is just a slump. If I can’t do it 100% today then I start again tomorrow. Can’t let a slump affect the rest of my life, right?
“Anyone can do this, and anyone can quit”. Wise words Mark.
This time I am NOT quitting when the going gets tough. Screw you old blueprint, I have work to do. I have changes to make. I have an amazing life to live.
And remember, I always ALWAYS keep my promises!